I read an HBR article tonight about managing work stress and how it is important that we do not rely on just one person to cope. We need a larger circle. In fact, ideally, in addition to people, we should strive to maintain hobbies and interests outside of work to de-stress.
This article reminded me of a commencement speech I read a few months ago that I wanted to share.
The theme of the speech suggests we form larger circles that encompass not only people but also thoughts and activities.
First, in his speech, Peter Salovey describes how we might broaden our views: “A conversation with six friends in real life [versus online] actually may lead to a greater variety of ideas and perspectives.” How will we solve problems if we can’t see other perspectives? My friend group still straddles one side of the political spectrum, but after going to business school and meeting many veterans on a different side, my views on military spending changed. Simply getting to know someone as a friend helps you to respect their perspective.
Additionally, Professor Salovey says that we not only want to draw larger circles but also more circles since this too helps us maintain a more open perspective. “We know one of the keys to happiness is developing a passion—even an expertise—outside of work. Sharing that passion with others gives us great joy, and it connects us to other circles of friends and associates who might be very different from the ones we would meet otherwise.” One of my passions is helping people find jobs that they will like. While it’s not as exposing as Professor Salovey’s bluegrass interest, it does enable me to constantly meet others I wouldn’t in my day to day. I do think I need to do better on this circle. I certainly did when I volunteered more.
Finally, another “great benefit of more and larger circles is that when you fail in one, your greater self-complexity “acts as a ‘buffer’ to negative experiences...For example, if you define yourself almost entirely in terms of your job, getting passed over for a promotion might be devastating for your sense of self-worth. Linville calls this ‘putting all your eggs in one cognitive basket.’ People such as our marathon-running bass player, on the other hand, bounce back more quickly after a setback. Linville even found that college students with greater self-complexity were less likely to get sick or experience depression or stress.”
In conclusion, Professor Salovey writes, “Draw many circles; make them large in all kinds of ways. You will find life richer, fuller, and more meaningful, and you will bring to the world the empathy and understanding we so desperately need.”
This blog helps me draw a larger circle by connecting me with people who reach out when they read something they want to know more about. It also provides me an interest outside of my core job. I am grateful I can widen my perspective and self-complexity here.